It’s Been a While

I’ve had some changes in life recently: book about to be published, new apartment, more exercise, better diet. There’s been a lot of good going on, yet my mind gravitates toward the negative. For instance, I have a job interview in a few weeks for what on the surface seems like a better job. But my anxiety says, “What if…?”

What if I fail? What if I can’t handle it? What if I lack the knowledge? What if they just don’t like me?

I know I should focus on the positive. So right now I’m adjusting my perspective.

What if they do like me? What if the job comes naturally to me? What if I excel?

I wonder why it takes so much effort to focus on the good instead of the bad? It must be because of the rut effect. I’m retraining my mind to see, do, and believe things it’s not used to, like the idea I’m okay as I am, that I am worthy of love, that I don’t need to impress others, and that God forgives me no matter what I do.

I guess it’ll take some time to carve out a new rut.

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